{"id":6410,"date":"2023-06-12T07:00:48","date_gmt":"2024-11-06T03:50:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/coachingfederation.org\/blog\/5-things-to-know-about-coaching-the-inner-critic\/"},"modified":"2024-12-20T15:14:46","modified_gmt":"2024-12-20T20:14:46","slug":"5-things-to-know-about-coaching-the-inner-critic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/coachingfederation.org\/blog\/5-things-to-know-about-coaching-the-inner-critic\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Things to Know About Coaching the Inner Critic"},"content":{"rendered":"

As coaches, we know how influential that voice in our heads can be. We see it limiting what our clients believe is possible for them. We experience it draining our own energy. We know that if we could all be free of its destructive messages, life would be much easier, more fun, and more productive. No more hesitating and second-guessing ourselves. We\u2019d do what matters to us and have a much bigger impact on the world.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The inner critic, however, is a slippery creature. It shape-shifts and distracts with extraordinary swiftness. Nevertheless, there are five things to know that can go a long way toward reducing its discouraging ways and keep us doing the things that are important to us.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

1) Recognize that the messages from the inner critic are just habitual thoughts.<\/h2>\n

Inner critic messages are simply thoughts that have become habits. We have millions of thoughts every day, and negative self-talk is the same as any other thought: electrochemical signals between the neurons in our brain. They\u2019re not some other-worldly force like Kryptonite that saps our energy and imprisons us. They don\u2019t control us (unless we say they do). They\u2019re just thoughts that at some moment in history we believed served us in some way and that we have repeated so much they became a habit. This realization helps to create a little space between those thoughts and who we know ourselves to be.<\/span><\/p>\n

2) Inner critic messages are based on lies.<\/h2>\n

I have yet to encounter an inner critic message which isn\u2019t ultimately based on a lie. There are as many versions of its lies as there are people. It may tell us we\u2019re not smart enough, talented enough, or confident enough. It may tell us we\u2019re too emotional, too ambitious, or too sensitive. It tells us that something\u2019s wrong with us that we\u2019re not who we should<\/span> be. <\/span>In one way or another, it questions our worth.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Worth, however, is not something to be proven. It\u2019s a given. No one questions the worth of a small baby who doesn\u2019t do much beyond eat, sleep, and excrete. No one questions the worth of a 90-year-old with dementia who can\u2019t feed themself. We recognize that they\u2019re worthy of life simply because they\u2019re here. It\u2019s the same for all of us, even though the inner critic tries to convince us otherwise.<\/span><\/p>\n

3) Don\u2019t fight against the inner critic.<\/h2>\n

Most of us want to do everything we can to eradicate the inner critic. However, physics, psychology, and metaphysics all tell us that fighting against something only strengthens it.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n